First off, let me start here. I am absolutely nowhere in the realm of understanding the differences between men and women. I'm not writing this entry to give people any solid advice about how to boost their performance in their relationship. So please, keep your comments away from drilling me over the dynamics of rights and wrongs concerning anything having to do with romance, and such. I do not need your diatribe on how to maintain a balanced relationship.
That said, I recently watched The Notebook a few weeks ago with a very close female friend of mine, and to be quite honest - it was literally one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. Now, you might think that I'm soft in the britches having admitted to something so...un-manly, but before you start questioning the existence of my ball-sack, hear me out. Going against the invisible and undefined sacred man-code, a lot of men I know have actually stayed awake through a watching of The Notebook with their lady friends - which is usually described as a sad, and depressing moment from the man's perspective.
In a sense, watching a chick-flick is like seeing a ghost, for a man. He tells you about it with a blank, and confused look on his face, but you never believe him; the whole while you're getting goose-bumps. You never believe him because, like a ghost, only the people who witnessed the event were the people who were around to witness the event. A ghost never appears in-front of a significant amount of people, the same way a man watching a chick-flick is never witnessed by other men. These are legends, fables, and folk-lore; tales told of the horrific ordeals men go through to build stronger bonds with their women. He tells you as if to somehow warn you of the dangers that await men who venture down the dark, and treacherous path of chick-flicks. "Be it death for any man fooled into the trickery of movie night. For the foulest of dooms await the souls of men who heed not the warning." In what dimension is possibly getting laid the "foulest of dooms"?..
Look fellas, watching a chick-flick has nothing to do with watching a pair of scissors chop your nuts loose. It wont make you any less of a man by showing genuine interest in what your lady is interested in. If Rambo: First Notebook is ever released, great...but until then, compromises are going to have to be made. If you hate chick-flicks because you're afraid you might actually enjoy them, ask yourself how much cooties mattered after you got laid for the first time. You've got to be open minded, fellas. When I watched The Notebook, I wasnt on some gloomy and detached shit like, "Ok...if you insist." I genuinely wanted to watch the movie, and in the end, I was a lot better for it. Not only did it expand my interest in movies, but also my interest in my exceptionally beautiful lady friend. I viewed into the intricate workings of love, and the labors expressed to achieve the endless bond. The scene where Allie follows the arrows into the room where an easel and canvas are set up for her to paint gave me chills, fellas. I dont know about any of you, but I want to know shit like that about the woman I fall in love with, and work towards bringing those dreams to life for her; thats some epic shit that'll swoon any woman.
In my opinion, watching a chick-flick helps a man become even that much more of a man. It shows that you're not influenced by anything outside of yourself. If your buddies call you a pussy for it, tell them that you got some pussy for it; and if they're anything close to the men that they claim to be, they'd be smart and do like-wise. I'm not afraid to admit it, fellas. And not to say that watching chick-flicks will ultimately lead to you getting laid, but showing your tender side might actually lead to a better connection with yourself - which breeds confidence, and women certainly do have a thing for confident men.
-Frank
Why not delve a little deeper? Let it be known, the author of some of the all time best "chick flicks", as you so dubbed them, is a male. Nicholas Sparks is the author of The Notebook, as well as some other best seller novels that became big movie hits, such as: The Lucky One, Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember, Nights in Rodanthe, Dear John and The Last Song and most recently Safe Haven. This just goes to show you that romance is not limited to women. The greatness of Nicholas Sparks, is his ability to put a man's perspective on romance. He brings the meat and potato dish with a scrumptious sultry dessert to follow. I, personally, wouldn't dub his work as "chick flick" junk.
ReplyDeleteThe real truth of the matter here is men yearn for that fulfilling love of their life fantasy world just as much as women. We all want to love and be loved; we all want that true someone that compliments and completes our existence. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Although, I love a good love story, many of the movies, novels and general media distort the truth of what it is to have a healthy, loving relationship. It is one thing to get some inspiration from these mediums it is another to put your stock into them. These stories can often times lead us into unrealistic expectations of our mate or the relationship as a whole. We are not these fictional characters and life does not play out the way it does in movies. If it did, I would have the perfect body (as perceived by the media), perfect hair, flawless skin and look amazing in anything and in every situation. These movies don’t usually show the ugly side of things, like morning breath. Many of the scenarios don’t portray the usual, which is what makes these movies so attractive, they provoke wishful fulfillment. “The one that got away”, usually got away and never returns. The one that cheats, usually cheats again. The one night stand with a smoking hot guy or girl, usually stays a one night stand and does not lead to any whirlwind romantic love story. And so on…
In truth, the best romance is when it is genuine and from the heart. Women are not creatures to conquer or win over, nor are men. Once the initial passion wears off, you are left with the raw relationship, the meat and potatoes. This is when the true nature really comes in; it is the truest test of any relationship. The bottomline is, if you want to tap into romance, yes take note of the “chick flicks”, but be true to who you are, because the most romantic and attractive quality in a person is how genuine and at ease they are with their self and others. From there you can have your meat and potatoes AND the sumptuous, sultry dessert. If you go into it with a façade of bullshit trying to impress your mate and later drop that façade, it will not last. Romance is not bait to reel the fish in, it is the lake that holds the fish. As for what a real man is…who am I to say, one thing I do know, a real man is a man who is true to himself and others.
...Just saying... ;-)
ReplyDeleteExcellent comment. I agree that I maybe should have researched more on the topic. The dubbing "chick-flicks" was more general to the topic than specifically referring to The Notebook; which from my experience, is a movie men have generally placed in that category. As you point it out though, I see what you mean by the difference between The Notebook and "chick-flick" junk.
ReplyDeleteI also agree about the stories possibly leading people to unrealistic expectations in their relationships. On the other hand, I do think they are a key-hole glimpse into recognizing the possibilities. Not that any fantasies or dreams need to be ultimately carried out in any certain way, but simply the opening of ones mind towards understanding that if recognized, certain dreams and fantasies can become realities.
As for the ugly side of relationships, I certainly dont deny it. Noah expresses in The Notebook, that its going to take work, its not going to be easy, but he wants all of that. I believe that when entering into something long term, those dynamics need to be accepted by both sides - that it wont be a walk in the park, and both people must be willing to do the work, and working through the hard times helps to forge a more complete bond with one another.
I also agree with what you say about the best romance, and if I reply to it, I would only be repeating in my own words what you have commented.
I havent been in a relationship that tested time in such a way, where months have become years, and the initial passion wears off into a more raw relationship. I cant exactly comment on that by my own experience. I am at a point in my life where I am looking for that experience, and all of the good and bad that goes a long with it. I do want to dedicate myself to something like that, and not at all only for the fantasies, and dreams; or for the wrong reasons either - but exploring that topic is a blog post for another day.
Thanks again for your comment, it is well received..
EDIT: Not that any fantasies or dreams need to be ultimately carried out in any certain way, but simply the opening of ones mind and heart** towards understanding that if recognized, certain dreams and fantasies can become realities.
ReplyDelete